Homework Ends With Insanity Rewrite
by InsolentPup
Summary: Jess fell alseep while waking homework, when she woke up she was in a world she did not know. Homework is evil, Sasuke is a squirel? Rewriting this story on new account, old account know as Cherry-Blossom-Phoenix-Sakura, link to original story in chapter1


**Hello everyone, I know I should update my stories, but I'm really busy with university right now, and I made a promise, to rewrite Homework Ends With Insanity. It's an old Naruto Fanfiction I wrote back in 2007. I know my humor back in those days was…. Like I was a retarded person on crack, so I hope that will… You know what, I shall give no comment about that. I just hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own mister Goldy and Sasuke the Killer Squirrel.**

Jess Cornick was a your average crazy youngster , rebellious if you would ask her parents and teachers, but we all know you wouldn't ask them. She grew up in the middle of London, close to Piccadilly circus, a place that is just filled with tourists and I love London merchandise. But that never really bothered her, hell she even walked around in the I heart London sweatshirts because they were comfortable as cloud nine. She grew up with a nanny because her parents were always working. Her life was normal, if you can explain anyway what normal means that is. But her life was ok and she couldn't complain about it.

She never had much free time, her parents made sure she had enough "Hobbies" they thought would be good for her. But when she had a little spare time she loved to watch Anime and read Manga. Not that her parents approved that, but hey we live in the age of internet where you don't need parents approval if you are above 14.

But let's start this story where it starts, not with the birth of Jess, that would be a nasty beginning, no we start in a little clearing in the middle of a big forest.

"What the hell…" Jess groaned as she sat up and held her head. It felt as if she made a real hard smack on the ground. "Where in the hell of muffins am I?" She said as she looked around, she didn't see anything familiar. She tried to recall what happened. She still could remember that she was home in bed and was making homework. Then everything went dark. Her eyes became big as she realized " I KNEW IT! Homework IS evil!" she got up on her feet and walked around, trying to find anything familiar. And not knowing that someone had heard her yell.

After a while she sat down bit a big sigh "Now I know why people always tell me that walking around in circles isn't helping me" It was already getting dark, and she still had no idea where she was. And what she hated even more "I don't have anime muffins or bananas with me!"

Meanwhile a bit further into the forest a very tall, blue skinned man and a smaller but still tall man with black hair were sitting around a campfire. "Did you hear that?" The blue skinned man looked at the man next to him. "Hn" was the reply, and after a while "We should see what happened" And with that they took off to where the yelling had come from. Only to find a young girl sitting on the ground while mumbling something about muffins and bananas. "Maybe she has run away from a madhouse?" Kisame suggested while he chuckled a bit. Itachi rolled his eyes. "Take her with us" he said and then he disappeared. Kisame sighed and knocked the girl ,who was oblivious that he was standing behind her, unconscious. Picked her up, threw her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes and disappeared.

"Ouch" Jess groaned as she woke up, this time she was in a room she didn't know. She sat up and looked around once again. "Homework got back at me and slapped my neck?" she rubbed her neck and groaned "Muffin be blessed that hurts like being stuck with granny in an elevator." She looked down as she realized she wasn't wearing her comfortable I heart London sweater. Instead she was weaing a long black dress with weird reddish clouds on it. She shivered "Someone needs to get some fashion sense slapped into him or her" she paused "I sound like a prep ew.." Suddenly two men walked into the room. Well two men, one looked like a fish, and the other was a red eyed emo boy. It made her depressive. " And our fresh meat woke up" Kisame grinned.

Jess blinked twice and after a long pause she started to yell "PERVERT! HENTAI! RAPE!" Kisame looked at het with big eyes "How did you call me?" He took a step towards her, but he had to take some steps backwards. Because the girl started to throw things at him, he didn't know where she got those things from that she was throwing at him. He only knew those red square stones hurt like hell, and the bananas kind of hurt too.

Itachi was watching this all with mild interest, the girl was wearing strange clothing when they found her, he wondered where she was from.

Suddenly Jess stopped with throwing stuff at Kisame and sat down all lady like. "I must look insane… I'm fighting with a fish, a blue one at that" she sighed and said "I've sunk so deep" Kisame stared at her for a while and then lunged at her "Why you little!"

"Kisame.. Enough" Itachi said calmy, Kisame sat down and decided to shut up, for now. Itachi observed her "You are here to answer some questions" he said while looking deep into her eyes. "What is your name?" Jess looked at him "My mum said I shouldn't give my name to strangers" He sighed, this girl couldn't be real "My name is Itachi, his name is Kisame" he pointed at Kisame. Jess thought for a bit "I'm Jess" she smiled. "How old are you girly? " Kisame asked her only to get a reply he didn't expected to get. "I won't answer you.." She said while glaring at him. "Why the hell not girly?" After a long silence Jess answered him "You are a fish.. People don't talk to fish, they EAT FISH!"

Itachi sighed, obviously not in the mood for this "Will you tell me how old you are and where you come from?" Jess smiled brightly and started to tell him " It all started 18 years ago with my momma and poppa.." Itachi couldn't believe his ears and quickly interrupted her "I meant your county"

Jess smiled sweetly "I knew that, and I thought my sweater gave it away with the big I heart London on it… I'm from England" she finally answered his question. "What is England?" Kisame aked curiously "It's a country on the planet earth, but you wouldn't know that since you are from Atlantis."

"I'll KILL you!" Kisame lunged at her with his sword, but Jess quickly hid behind Itachi and decided to stay there. Itachi sighed _' God I'm surrounded by idiots' _ "And don't forget a blue fish that can walk and talk" Jess smiled at him. Itachi stared at her, he was 200 percent sure he didn't say that out loud. "Jess, you will stay here in our base, we need someone to cook for us, Zetsu has eaten the last cook we had" Kisame nodded "There should be some parts of him in the fridge, so careful.." Jess blinked "Do I get my own room?" "No"

"But"

"No"

"I can share with another girl?" Jess asked hopeful. "No you will share with me" Itachi said.

**And that was the first chapter of Homework ends with Insanity, the rewrite. I wrote a bit more than in the original. And I really was shocked when I saw my writing style from 2007. I mean damn it sucks! It's a mystery to me how people enjoyed reading that crappy style. Anyway, if you want to read the original too : /s/3689072/1/homework_ends_with_insanity  
I'm thinking of a new plotline for this story. The original is not what I want it to be. Took me three years to figure that out XD Also I'm open for fanfiction requests. I am willing to write about : Anime, Manga, Drama series, Harry Potter. I actually would love to write a Harry Potter one… Hmm**


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